Post by BB on Jul 26, 2008 21:10:29 GMT -5
AND WHERE HELL IS, THERE MUST WE EVER BE
ALL PLACES SHALL BE HELL THAT IS NOT HEAVEN.
WHY THIS IS HELL! NOR AM I OUT OF IT!
SO, LET'S SAY YOU'VE JUST DIED. YOU KNOW YOU DID, YOU CAN REMEMBER THE BLOOD OR THE PAIN OR WELL, HOWEVER IT IS THAT YOU JUST SO HAPPENED TO HAVE KICKED THE BUCKET, BUT THE THING IS, THE AFTERLIFE DOESN'T LOOK ALL THAT DIFFERENT FROM, SAY, ANY INCREDIBLY crappy LITTLE TOWN IN UPSTATE NEW YORK. BEFORE YOU GO THINKING YOU'VE GOTTEN STUCK IN SOME SORT OF PURGATORY THOUGH, DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE YOU SEE THOSE CHEERFUL PEOPLE ALL DRESSED IN BLACK CLOAKS? THEY'RE HERE TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS ISN'T PURGATORY! IT'S HELL'S WAITING ROOM! HELL'S GOTTEN A LITTLE FULL AT THE MOMENT, AND WHEN GOD CREATED HELL, HE HADN'T ANTICIPATED US HUMANS BEING SO INCREDIBLY SELFISH, SO HE DIDN'T MAKE IT QUITE AS ROOMY AS HEAVEN. WELL, GOD, THE POWERS THAT BE, WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE BELIEVING IN RIGHT NOW, HE AND LUCIFER ARE WORKING ON IT FOR YOU, SO FOR NOW, YOU HAVE TO SIT AND CHILL. APPARENTLY MAKING PITS OF FIRE AND HIRING DEMONS OUT TO RIP THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES IS A TOUGH GIG.
SO, YOU'VE GOT A COUPLE YEARS TO KILL IN HELL'S EQUIVALENT OF A WAITING ROOM. WHAT DO YOU DO? WELL, YOU COULD GET A JOB. CRAPSHOOT OF A PIZZA JOINT DOWN THE ROAD SEEMS TO BE HIRING. OR YOU COULD MILL ABOUT AIMLESSLY CONTINUING TO BE AS USELESS AS YOU WERE BACK ON EARTH. EITHER WAY, YOU'RE STUCK HERE WITH HUNDREDS OF OTHER MISFITS THAT JUST COULDN'T QUITE GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER.
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THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TOLD WHEN YOU GET TO BRUGES, LIMBO, ANYWAY. SOLEMN REAPER TYPES BRING ALL THE LOST SOULS IN ON CITY BUSES, TELL 'EM TO GIVE IT A COUPLE YEARS AND HELL WILL HAVE A NICE TOASTY SPOT OPEN, BUT UNTIL THEN, BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO CHILL. PUN INTENDED. THING IS, BRUGES IS NOT HELL'S WAITING ROOM, IT'S A JOKE BETWEEN GOD AND LUCIFER. GOD DECIDED PURGATORY WAS TOO EASY, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PEOPLE KNEW THAT THEY WERE THERE JUST LONG ENOUGH TO PLAY NICE. SO HE REDECORATED WITH THE HELP OF LUCIFER, AND RENAMED PURGATORY BRUGES AFTER AN ENTERTAINING MOVIE THEY'D WATCHED TOGETHER ABOUT AN UNHAPPY HITMAN. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. BRUGES WAS SET UP SO THAT GOD COULD SEE IF ANYONE REALLY WANTED TO CHANGE, WOULD THEY GIVE UP THEIR HUMANITY AND SIMPLY GORGE THEMSELVES ON ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, DROWN THEIR SORROWS AS IT WERE? OR WOULD THEY TRY TO SHAPE UP, EVEN IF THEY WERE TOLD ALL HOPE WAS LOST? IT WAS A BETTER WAY TO TELL THE USELESS FROM THE USEFUL.
ALONG WITH THAT, GOD SENT DOWN SOME ANGELS TO HELP TEMPT SOULS HIS WAY, WHILE LUCIFER SENT UP SOME LUCKY DEMONS TO DO THE SAME. IT'S A LONG RUNNING GAME WITH LUCIFER AND GOD, WHO CAN WIN OVER THE MOST SOULS TO THEIR PART OF THE SPECTRUM. LUCIFER USES COOKIES TO TEMPT, AND GOD... HE CHEATS. HE USES PRETTY WINGED ANGELS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX BEHIND LUCIFER'S BACK. COURSE, HE'S GOD, SO HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS, RIGHT?
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SO WHAT WILL IT BE? TRADE REASON IN FOR MADNESS? OR DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT LAST LITTLE BIT OF HOPE LEFT IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD THAT MAYBE GOD HASN'T FORGOTTEN YOU? REMEMBER, GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES. LUCIFER'S ALL ABOUT INSTANT GRATIFICATION AND ETERNAL DAMNATION. UP TO YOU.
'NO BRAVERY
LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE. AND THEN IT STILL SUCKS.
A BS INTELLIGENCE PRODUCTION IN ASSOCIATION WITH BANG!BANG! PRODUCTIONS.
*NOTE TO ALL RELIGIOUS FANATICS: NO OFFENSE MEANT BY ANYTHING. PLEASE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND/OR FEEL FREE TO IGNORE US, BUT DON'T FLAME. PLEASE AND THANKS.